Mall walking for dogs: the next new thing?

In the Land of the Dog and the Home of the Mall,
mall walking should be a canine right.

Around this time of year, I get to wondering just why it is that I moved north. My paws are cold, my ears are cold, I'm a shivering mess.

And that's while I'm snuggled deep into one of the living room chairs.

Last week my bunny brother, Licorice, came inside: too cold for him, so it's way too cold for me.
At first, I enjoyed lazing around. Now, I'm bored. And that's dangerous.

So here's my plan: find a big, big mall somewhere and run wild. Or at least walk wild.

Any good idea requires research. I started at the most obvious point: The Mall of America.
A major plus: it's always 70 degrees inside.
Double plus: each level of the mall is .57 miles.
Minus: the mall only seems to allow dog walking during special events, which seem to be few and far between.
Double minus: it's in Minnesota, which is even colder than here.

If you're unfortunate enough to live in Chicago, you could head to The Shops at North Bridge Mall on Michigan Avenue, which kindly invites dogs to walk inside. It even has a pet comfort station, providing  "tasty treats, fresh water and waste baggies."

Closer to home, you could take a 1.7 mile walk around the Wrentham outlets, but unfortunately, that would be outside, not in.

The Natick Mall would be perfect, but unfortunately does not allow "running, horseplay or disorderly conduct of any nature." That would count me out. Plus, now that Mom has toted up my yearly expenses, she's vowed not to buy me a single thing.

Just wait until the spring thaw. I'll be dragging her to Petco Unleashed every afternoon, where I most certainly am welcome. If it ever does thaw.