You know that Paper Source motto, "Create Something Every Day"? Mom loves that, or at least the idea of it.
Well, I'm a contrarian, so my own motto is this: Destroy Something Every Day.
However, now that I'm turning three big ones, I might be a tad more mature. True, I was a callow youth, a mere half-dozen months old, when my family brought me home. I, who had never known more than an outdoor pen, had never crossed a home's threshold or jumped gleefully into a car. Ah, a dog without a proper home is a sad thing...
So, I'm in my new yard for no more than 10 seconds when I unleash the full force of my pointy teeth onto my new, 100% guaranteed, indestructible leash. Just one chomp required—it wasn't as if it was the Gordian knot or anything. Mom did send for a replacement, but sorry to say, it did not give her the mastery she sought. Oh, no.
Herewith I confess my destructive sins, both mortal and venial. You decide which is which.
Tucker time (T) + 10 seconds: the aforementioned leash severing.
T + one day: Stand on table, break lamp.
T + two days: ditto with lamps two and three.
T + three days: chomp portable phone to smithereens
T + four days: devour family's steak dinner (I wouldn't call a thoroughly enjoyed quality meal destroyed, but Dad would)
T + five days: chomp TV remote to smithereens (Mom and sis couldn't care less, but Dad...)
T + six days: Grandma bravely comes to visit! Hour one: chomp prescription sunglasses (through hard case); Hour two: ditto with cellphone; Hour three: ditto with Italian leather wallet.
T + seven days: Grandma leaves (well, she desperately wants to, but she is far too nice).
Here ends Part I of The Confessions of a Destructive Foxhound.
More to come.