Post-vacation hangover

Post-vacation, I drape my sleepy body as far over
the living room chair as possible.

I bombed around with my pals. I stayed out as late as I could. I bayed until my voice cracked.

For five days, while my family was at the Jersey shore, I put myself up at Southboro Kennels, where I am well-known for my quirks, foibles and charms.

I practically knocked over Mary when I arrived. She was nonplussed. "He's the man," she said. "Will he need a go-home bath?"

I would, Mom replied. However, I believe such practical matters as bathing and grooming are best performed in the privacy of my home. In other words, the longer I could put off such stuff, the more time for play. It waited until I returned to my domicile (origin: from the Latin domus, meaning home).

Now, clean, shiny and utterly exhausted, I'm sleeping it all off. Happy summer!

P.S. Wonder what nonplussed means? I'm actually using it in a nonstandard way, which apparently has become standard. Originally from Latin, translating as not more, it meant that no more could be said or done. So if one was nonplussed, one couldn't be more, say, annoyed. However, nonplussed has come to mean the exact opposite. So Mary was not perturbed in the least. In other words, she couldn't be more happy that I had come for a visit.