Call of the long-eared hound, or, I heard the wild thing call my name

Last night my parents and sister left me home alone and went owling. Why? I do not know, especially when they can hear musical yowlings at home. Owls, they learned, have a variety of calls, depending upon the situation. Here, then, a rundown of the possible hound calls and their intepretation.

Sound: Classic bark. Interpretation: Dare to take my bone.
Takers will be duly chased.

1. Sound: Insistent, persistent barking, followed by several emphatic leaps into one's lap that may knock one and one's chair over. Interpretation:  It is time, long past time, to go for a walk. Preferably via automobile to some interesting spot. Never mind your black-and-blue marks. Exercise is good for them.

2. Sound: Yowling, of a sorry and sad sort. Cannot be contained or consoled. Intepretation: You are the privileged listener to The Hound's Lament, that most mournful of lamentations. This means you have left your dear one alone either for far, far too long, or you went somewhere that said dear one would have loved to go.

3. Sound: Big, long, echoing bay that carries for miles over water. Intepretation: Something really interesting is over yonder. Perhaps a playmate, perhaps not.

4. Sound: Snarling, nasty bark (rarely heard). Interpretation: Something big and shaggy, perhaps a German Shepherd, Husky or Malamute is in the vicinity. Beware.